28 January 2015

Comparisons are Not Good

I do not know why  people find the need to compare their children or different people.

Last week I met a Father whose two daughters are in Australia. He was going to visit them and when I politely asked about them he told me that he was very happy with the older daughter who was doing very well for herself and was in the 'elite strata of society' (his words) whereas the younger daughter was just 'mediocre' and he had nothing to really say about her.

He bragged about the big pay check that the older daughter earned every month but did not want to say anything about the younger daughter. It looked like he was very dissatisfied with how the younger daughter was living her life.

And all this talk when I just politely asked about them.

Parents, please try not to compare your children to their siblings or to others too. I know it is difficult because I happen to do it sometimes too. Give your children all that you can and then leave it to them to build a life for themselves. Loving the children always is  most important.

Take Care,

This post has been written as part of ABC Wednesday.


  1. What a thoughtless man, cruel even to compare his children in such a way, sadly, my parents always compared me to my elder sister, which really upset me!
    As it happens, I have achieved so much more in life by having three wonderful daughters, who so different that I wouldn't dream of comparing them....they are each unique in their own delightful way. my sister never wanted children and wasn't really interested in her three nieces.
    Sadly, she lives in a nursing home, and the three nieces aren't interested in her, which is so sad too!
    it is never good to compare siblings.
    Good and thought provoking article, thanks for sharing,
    ABCW team.

  2. TOTALLY inappropriate. What a twit he is! (Twit was NOT the first word that CAME to mind...)


  3. Thank you Roger for commenting. I was really shocked at his expression and comments. And he is now visiting the daughters in Australia. I hope he does not spoil the visit for the younger daughter as she has just had a baby recently.

  4. Thank you Diane for the comment.I think most parents tend to compare their children to their siblings and sometimes it really hurts the children when they are compared to others who are doing better in life either academically or financially.It happens too much in families here in India.

  5. You are absolutely right. My three children are all different. It is interesting too see how they manage to overcome problems, which we all come across in life sooner or later. I believe my children are happy, and that is the most important thing.
    Have a great week.
    Wil, ABCW Team

  6. it will be good if parents themselves draw comparison in their own kids.

  7. Quite right! I think the same. Each person is different and unique.