I Love Elephants

Magali & the Elephants in Yangon Zoo, Myanmar (1994).

Elephants to me are huge, sweet and gentle animals.

Here in Mumbai we used to see them on the road along with their mahouts who used them to beg for money and food. Normally they do not harm anybody but there are some instances where they have gone on a rampage and killed people (mostly due to ill treatment) Now they are banned on the roads in Mumbai but can be seen on the outskirts of the city.

Since Magali was just one year old we had been regularly taking her to the zoo in different countries.

Here in Mumbai we are not allowed to feed the animals but I remember when we visited the zoo in Yangon, Myanmar we had to pay a certain amount of money and we were given a small plastic basket filled with sugar cane. Magali and I enjoyed feeding the elephants.

About five years ago the whole family went on a holiday to Bangkok where there are a lot of elephants at the zoo and different places we visited during our stay. Magali even sat on an elephant for a fee where the trainer was taking the elephant around the area for the ride. There too we could feed a lot of elephants with sugar cane and they would nicely take it from your hand.

Magali (above) & me in Safari World, Bangkok (2009).

Poachers should leave the elephants alone who they kill for the ivory. Ivory is banned in India and many other countries so I hope the elephants can live a longer life now.

Love to all,

Sheila

This post has been written as part of ABC Wednesday.

My Daughter, My Blessing!

I remember the day very clearly when it was confirmed that I was pregnant. I  had never thought about the gender of the child and was just hoping that I have a normal delivery and a normal child.

Magali with me, aged 2 months old.

My husband being in the Merchant Navy joined a ship when I was 3 months pregnant and promised me that he would be home on time for the delivery.

But our daughter had different plans. About 2 weeks before my due date she decided that she wanted to see the world and so on 9th of April around 8.40 pm  after a long and painful labour she came into this world.

I say daughters are a blessing because they share everything with you. Your joys, sorrows, pain and sickness.

Magali last month, aged 22!

When I am not well she is beside me all the while trying to make me comfortable.When she is out of the house she calls me often just to say "Hi". I have taken care of her all by myself even when my husband has been away on the ship and with no full time help but I always enjoyed our time together.Even on holidays we enjoy just roaming around new places, sight seeing and shopping.

I love you Magali and hope and pray that you are blessed with good health and all the happiness in this world.

Take care,

Sheila

This post has been written as part of ABC Wednesday.

A for Appreciation

Today being the start of ABC Wednesday I am starting with the Alphabet A.

Appreciation: meaning recognition of the good in a person.

Many a times we take people for granted and never appreciate them.

My Father loved having me around the home doing most of the work he told me, but he never appreciated me or said a word to me.

But I got to hear from a lot of people that he always praised me as being an active and smart person and being able to do varied things right from gardening or going to Churchgate to pay his Life Insurance premium when I was just 13 years old.

I also feel that I should let people know that I have loved having them in my life.

The first person will be my husband Ezy who has given me the freedom to do what I want though I have never abused that freedom. We will be celebrating  25 Years together in a few days.

The next person is someone who came into our life more than 22 years ago.

That person is our daughter Magali. I am happy that she has grown into a smart and kind girl especially to animals. Ezy and I love her and have done all that we can to make her happy.

Next is our families and friends. Thank You all for being a part of our lives.I Thank God and appreciate you all.

Love you all,

Sheila

Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage : My Story

This is a debate that can go on forever depending on the people involved and their thoughts and views about marriage.

When I got married 22 years ago it was an arranged marriage as my parents wanted me to marry some Goan boy who belonged to the same caste that we did. Well, Ezy (my husband) proposed to me, so it was  an arranged union but partly love marriage too, at least on his side.

I had two paternal Uncles who were Priests and my father did not want them to say that we had not done the right thing. He always told us from when we were young that he would have to answer for the wrong that we did and so we siblings were even frightened to talk to the opposite sex as we were worried that Dad would take it wrongly. Three of us married the partners chosen by our parents while one brother married a girl of his choice but luckily she belonged to the same community so Dad had no problem with that.

Arranged marriages are good for two people who are willing to make the  marriage work even though they may not know each other very well before marriage.

Ezy and I had a lot of problems at the beginning adjusting to lot of things and all the interference from people from both the families. But we decided that we wanted our marriage to work and we sorted our problems and are still together. We have arguments now and then and Magali is the referee many a times.

Many a times I have seen arranged marriages break up because of the meddling by family members and also because the couple do not really bother to try to make a go of the marriage. When there are children involved it is difficult for them to see the parents separating and  they are mentally scarred.

In my opinion I would say that even if a couple gets into an arranged marriage they should be given enough of time to go on dates and get to know each other before the D-Day. I got engaged to Ezy in June 1989 and though we went out sometimes we both were shy to ask each other questions and so there were a lot of questions left unanswered. He joined a ship soon after and there were a few letters exchanged and  a few calls between us. He came home end December 1989 and we got married on 20th January 1990.

We joined a ship together in May 1990 and sailed for 13 months where we got to know each other and had time to ourselves when he was not working.The other Officers used to tease us that Ezy was spending all his time in the Cabin and not coming to the Smoke Room to watch movies or play carrom or Table Tennis.

So ending the arranged marriage debate I would say that Life is Good when you Make it Good. Marriage is between two individuals who should work together to make it a success.

In the present times I think that the children should be given a chance to find their own partner and hence Ezy and I have told Magali that she will have to find her own partner and we will not be forcing our choice on  her.

The couple should  always be ready to make adjustments and nor bicker about small things. There should be no name calling and no physical violence at any time during the relationship. Both the partners should make an attempt to keep each other happy by doing small things that the partner would  love.

In the end I would like to say that Arranged or Love Marriage it is the Couple who have to live through it and do it with LOVE.

May God Bless all the couples with Love, Joy and Lots of  Happy Years Together.

Sheila

Holiday in New Zealand

Hello everybody. It has been a long time since my last blog post.

These last few months have been busy and my husband and I have had a holiday to New Zealand where we spent Christmas 2011 and New Year 2012.

My friends who are settled in Auckland since 2002  had been inviting us to visit New Zealand since a long time and last year we decided to visit them. We have known each other for over 25 years and were colleagues at Bombay Hospital.

We have had many holidays abroad to Disney World  Florida in U.S.A., Penang, Mellaca, and Kuala lumpur in Malaysia and Bangkok in Thailand.

Ezy & Me.

At all these place we booked into resorts and really enjoyed ourselves. We spent a minimum of 2 weeks at each resort and all the holidays were lovely. All these holidays were as a family. Magali always accompanied us. But this time she did not want to come along because she said we were going to live in someones house and that she did not like that. 

We left India on 21st December and were received at the Auckland Airport on 22nd December by my friends.

We were our mad selves all the while and the men were wondering whether we were drunk (not possible since we hardly drink) or taking drugs (also not possible since none of us does drugs).We laughed and laughed remembering our old jokes and cracking some new ones and Ezy added to the fun by telling some funny happenings on board the ship.

Almost all of us.

Ezy is normally very quiet but there in Auckland he was quite talkative and my friends were quite surprised.

We visited all the places in Auckland and went for overnight stays to Coromandel and Rotorua.

My friends have a good social group and there were lot of invitations to parties and the days just flew by.

I missed Magali a lot and was sad because this was a first holiday abroad that she had not acoompanied us but she enjoyed herself too with her parents out of her hair.

We spoke regularly over the phone, on skype and also exchanged messages on twitter. So it did not feel like she was so far away.

On 20th January 2012 Ezy and I celebrated our 22nd Wedding anniversary and it was Ezy's birthday also.

So the three of us had lunch at a  mall food court followed by a lot of shopping.

Life could not be any better. I am loving it.

Love to all  of you,

Sheila

Greed Overcomes All Else

I am quite in a serious mood today. Feeling very angry about how a son is treating his mother.

I am a volunteer at The Home for The Aged since  8 years.

There are about 130 men and women all above 65 years.

As I know most of the old people on first name basis and I go at least 3 times a week they are quite comfortable talking about their lives to me.

The person I am going to write about is a lady 0f 80+ years who was literally thrown out of her home because her husband has made a mistake of transferring the house to the son's name.

A picture taken by Magali at the Home for The Aged
at their recent hat parade event.

The old couple were happily living with the son and his family and the old lady took care of the grand children when the son & daughter in law were working. The grand children grew up and by then the daughter in law was getting restless that the "old people were not dying" and that they would never get the house to themselves.

To the good luck of the children the old couple happened to have a daughter who was living in Canada and had decided to take the parents for a holiday. Before they left the son conveniently told the Father that since he would not be around for 6 months at least it would be nice if the Father transferred the house to the son's name, for official reasons.

The Father trusted the son transferred ownership before they left for Canada.

Six months later they came back to India to a place that they knew as home which was no longer theirs.

The son, daughter in law and grandchildren found that the old couple were unwanted at home and tried everything they could do by verbally and physically abusing the old couple. When the old couple could take it no more they informed their daughter who promptly came to India and took the old couple to Mangalore where they were put in the Home for the Aged after paying more than 12,000/- Rupees ($250 which is quite a lot here) a month not including all other expenses. The old man fell sick there and passed away. Now the old lady was all alone and feeling lonely and to her good luck there was place for her at The Home for the Aged in Mumbai and the daughter came to India and brought her to Mumbai. It is now nearly 6 years that she is here in Mumbai and the son has hardly come to meet her. He calls once in a while to find out if the Mother is fine but the call is just to show the Religious Sisters that he calls and that he cares about the Mother.

The daughter visits the Mother every year from Canada and would have liked to take the Mother to live with her but the harsh winters of Canada do not agree with the Mother.Though the Home is a free Institution she contributes a good amount as Donation. I really admire her as she calls regularly and is really concerned about the Mother though she has no financial gain in the situation.

The Mother is bitter about the whole situation and blames her husband for the situation that she is in today.

She sits and talks to me almost every time I go to the Home. I love talking to her and she says that she enjoys talking to me too. Sometimes I take some home cooked food that she likes and her eyes shine when she tells me that she has enjoyed her meal.

I have seen many cases like these. In all the cases the parents have given away all the assets to the children who do not care about the parents after they have the money, gold and diamond ornaments and apartments in their names.

It is a lesson to parents that you should only give away all that you have in a will that is opened after you are dead. Be there for your children when they need you but do not be a fool and then repent later.

This is a reminder also to my husband and me that we should make a will when he is home this time so that the assets will all be given to our daughter when we are no more.

Take care everyone.
Lots of love,
Sheila

Almost six months...

Since I last posted. What a pity. In this time, I have been on a vacation with an old friend (which was a lot of fun), celebrated yet another birthday, & done many more things. But housework, voluntary work at the Home for the Aged & of course my favorite frontierville keeps me so busy & I am very lazy to type. So there. These are my reasons for not blogging. I hope that in the future blogging becomes an internet priority over those silly Zynga games that I enjoy so much. I think I should take part in the next round of ABC Wednesday.
Hope everyone is well.

Bye for now,
Sheila

Happy Birthday Ezy and A happy Wedding Anniversary to Us!

Hello everyone. It has been a long time since I have done a blog post and it is because I have been lazy to do it.  I am a person who loves to talk face to face with people or over the phone with family and friends who I cannot meet regularly. My daughter  Magali has been pestering me since such a long time to do a post so I decided that today is the right day that I should do it.
Today being 20th January happens to be my husband's birthday and our 21st Wedding Anniversary.
Happy Birthday Ezy and a Happy Wedding Anniversary too.
It is 21 years ago that I gave up my career since my husband who is a Captain in the Merchant Navy wanted that I should sail with him and that we would be able to spend a life together rather than being apart when he would join a ship.
Time has gone by like the seas, sometimes smooth sailing with not even a ripple on the waters and then sometimes were like the choppy seas and bad weather but basically we have managed to keep ourselves together without allowing any outside interference to break us apart.
I really do not know what life has in store for us but I hope and pray that we keep in Good Health and have a happy life together along with Magali.

I love you Ezy and wish that we have many more Wedding Anniversaries to come.

With all my love.
Sheila

I've been lucky!

I know I have been a bad, bad blogger. My last post was two months ago! I get really caught up with work and of course those addictive Facebook games. Also, I hate typing!! So my daughter has offered to type while I dictate.
This is just going to be a happy-happy post where I tell you that I won something beautiful! A while ago, Franca over at Oranges and Apples had a giveaway on her blog. The winner got to choose from two beautiful necklaces by Marie Bee (both available in her etsy shop, The Blue Balloon.) Marie is a really talented photographer & her antique jewelry is so pretty. I don't usually enter giveaways but when my daughter showed me this I knew I had to enter. And guess what, I won!
The necklace I won is called Rainbow warrior. It is made from a crystal clear vintage chandelier prism. An antiqued copper filigree cone is fitted over the top, which makes the entire pendant about 3.5 inches tall. The brass chain is 30 inches, and slips over the head.

Rainbow Warrior Necklace

Isn't it gorgeous? Thanks, Franca & Marie. You made my day. I am sure my daughter is going to click a ton of photos & feature it on her style blog the moment it arrives.
Now I am off to spend Christmas & New Year in a beautiful resort in Goa with my husband. So happy holidays everyone. Have fun & take care.

Love,
Sheila

J for Joshua

Joshua is my small little nephew who was born on 23rd May 2009. He is a cute little bundle of mischief who is so full of energy that he keeps his parents on their toes all the while. The little rest they get is when he is taking a nap in the daytime and when he sleeps at night. I have taken care of him the few times I have visited their home because they do not live close by and time does not permit me to visit them often , though I speak to them often on the phone. Even when I am talking to his mother he wants to say "Ello" to me when his mother tells him that it is "Aunt Sheila"  she is speaking to. He loves to play with all the pots and pans instead of the lovely toys he has.

I last saw him on 11th June 2010 which happened to be my brothers birthday. I hope and pray that he grows to be a good child to his parents.

Love to all,
Sheila

This post is part of ABC Wednesday

G for Goa

Goa is the smallest state in India. A native of Goa is called a Goan in English,Goenkar (गोंयकार) in Konkani, Govekar (गोवेकर ) in Marathi.

This collage is made by Magali after our last holiday.

Though my husband and I are born in Mumbai our parents were from the same village in Goa and the families knew one another. When our fathers were old enough to leave Goa they came to Mumbai to make a living because in Goa there was nothing much to do. They earned enough money and later went back to Goa to find Goan wives and brought them back to Mumbai where they started their families.
Goa is visited by large numbers of international and domestic tourists each year. The beaches of Goa are famous and quite clean. We love Goa but only for a holiday but now with all the drunken driving and drug dealing going on, Goa is not a very safe place and  we are used to the fast pace of  life in Mumbai.
Though we have a holiday home in Goa we visit only once a year in the summer vacations as a family because Ezy is usually home at that time.
We also love to spend time at the resorts in Goa since we have a membership and spend a lot of time on the beach just enjoying the cool breeze and relaxing.
I look forward to our Goa holiday every year and maybe this year we will be visiting Goa in the Diwali or Christmas Vacations.
With lots of love,
Sheila.

This post is part of ABC Wednesday.

F for Freedom

Freedom is defined as the condition of being free of restraints, Liberty of the person from slavery, detention, or oppression.

As an Indian woman I have seen and heard of many cases where women do not have the freedom to choose their career, life partner and anything what so ever. They are controlled by their fathers before marriage and then the husband tells them what to do or not to do after marriage.
When I was young I always wanted to be a nurse. My father was against the idea of me making a career out of nursing. But I was adamant and got my way by agreeing to do my graduation in Arts before I joined the nursing course. I completed my nursing and really enjoyed myself. I made so many new friends and am in touch with two of them even though they are in New Zealand. My father was also particular that we siblings married a Goan Brahmin and he was lucky that all of us managed to find suitable spouses even though three of us had arranged marriages. For me it was not so bad as far as freedom was concerned.
After I got engaged to Ezy he told me that he wanted me to leave my job as he wanted me to sail with him after we got married. So I left my job just before I got married.
After that when little Magali came into our lives I had all the time in the world to look after her and I enjoyed myself. I am lucky that I married Ezy because he has given me  lot of FREEDOM. I do not work but I have enough of money to spend lavishly. I spend about 5 hours each day /three times a week at the Home for the aged. I help out many people in many ways I can and i am happy that I have a family that allows me to do what I want.
Thank you Ezy for giving me my freedom and I love my life the way it is.

Love you both.
Sheila

This post is part of ABC Wednesday.

D for daughter

Today I dedicate my post to my daughter Magali.

My daughter Magali when she was a baby.

I do not know when and how it all started but I have seen it in many families that the parents always favor the sons. I do not know the reason for that behavior but it really irritates me when the daughter is completely ignored and made use of in all ways while the son is the Lord and Master in the house. Maybe it has to do with the dowry system here in India that parents find that the daughters are a burden on their finances.
My parents too were always partial to my brothers and quite ignored my sister and me. It really hurts that now when the brothers are married and all the assets are taken over by the brothers their wives want nothing to do with the Mother because she is old and not useful to babysit and now that the children are grown up they do not need the unpaid maid servant (the Grandmother).
When I was pregnant my husband always wanted a girl but I told him that we should be happy with either a girl or a boy but  my only prayer was that I should have a normal delivery and a normal child. God granted me my prayers and I am thankful that I  have a daughter.
My daughter is 18 years old and a blessing to me and my husband. Though she may pester me for many things that she wants she is a good and loving daughter who is kind to all and loves animals. I am really happy that I have a daughter and do not wish for anything else in this world.
Dearest Magali, Dad and I love you and want you to continue being  a good person that you are.
May God bless you and keep you safe always.

Love,
Sheila

This post is part of ABC Wednesday.

B for Blessings

Blessings are there is every persons life. But we fail to recognize them and thank God for them.
I thank God for my parents. My father passed away 12 years ago and my mother lives alone in Goa out of choice.

I thank God for my three siblings though I may have many problems with them.
I thank god for all my relatives, friends, good and bad.
I thank God for everyone who has come into my life and I have not really appreciated them.
And last of all I thank God for my lovely family.
My husband who has been a good person, worked hard for his family before marriage and now works hard for Magali and me, and gives us a very comfortable life.I  have not been a working woman since over 20 years and I have had a lovely life so far though I may grumble sometimes.
I thank God for our daughter Magali who was a surprise for us. She knows why I am saying that.
So thank you God for all the Blessings given to me .
With love,
Sheila

This post was a part of ABC Wednesday.